Today marks Day 30 on the Autoimmune Protocol diet. I do not want to write this post but I feel I need to update on what was supposed to be the last day of the elimination phase. I’m supposed to feel great enough to start reintroducing foods again. But, once again, I’m an anomaly. I feel awful. I’m having one of those weak days where I am having trouble believing I will ever get better.
I sat on the porch this morning and read through Job. I know his troubles were far worse than mine, but I can so relate to him. With Job, I cry to God, “What strength do I have, that I should still hope?” – Job 6:11a (NIV). I’ve spent too much time hoping for the next ‘thing’ to be my cure-all. I’m tired in body and tired in heart. And yet, I also find it within me to say with Job, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.” – Job 13:15a (NIV).
How is it possible to continue in hope? My hope is in heavenly things, rather than earthly things. If God does not heal me in this life, he will in the next one. “I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes – I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!” – Job 19:25-27 (NIV). Oh, how deeply my heart yearns for that day!
I cannot imagine those who don’t believe and are incredibly sick like this. What hope do they have at all? I am so grateful to know that at the very least I can look forward to complete healing one day. In the meantime, I struggle along with Job, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” – Job 1:21b (NIV).
My apologies for the downer update. That’s why I did not want to write today. But my days are not without triumphs and that is what I constantly try to remind myself. When I think of how debilitatingly ill I was several months ago, I do see some progress. Maybe the diet is helping at least a little bit. My body certainly didn’t get sick all at once so naturally it will take awhile to get better.
Let us all HOPE that the Lord will see fit for my next update to be much happier! Your constant thoughts and prayers mean more than you will ever know.
Love to you,