"When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. 'Let's not tear it,' they said to one another. 'Let's decide by lot who will get it.'" - John 19:23-24a
Imagine believing Jesus’ only value was His undergarment. Imagine grasping for His clothes while completely rejecting His heart. I squirm just thinking about it. I ache with what the soldiers missed. Would I have missed it too?
I want to be healed. I wait, sometimes impatiently, for Jesus’ touch. When I think of the hem of His robe, my body physically aches with longing. And I’m forced to answer some difficult questions. Do I long for Him that much? Do I ache for what He offers me right now in this moment, knowing it is best? Or do I want His clothes more than I want Him?
I thank God for the gift of knowing what the soldiers did not. I know there was more to Jesus on that day, and there’s more to Him today, than His seamless garment. I perceive the seamless way He cares for me. I believe the unimaginable depth His love reaches for me. On this Good Friday, I look past the clothes and embrace Jesus’ heart as He wraps me up in Him. I accept the peace that He left and the grace offered on the cross. And as much as I’d love to touch His robe, I claim a deeper healing- the salvation of my soul. The soldiers only had eyes for the physical Jesus, clinging to their perception of what would be left after His death. May my eyes be ever open to the resurrected Jesus, clinging to all that He was, is, and will always be. He is with me each moment. I can touch His presence. I can wash His feet with my tears. I can pour out my heart and receive His in abundance. I can listen for His voice.
I let go of His clothes… so I can cling to His heart.
Song I’m feeling so deeply: The More I Seek You, by Kari Jobe
“The more I seek You, the more I find You
The more I find You, the more I love You
I want to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand
Lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heartbeat
This love is so deep, it’s more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace, it’s overwhelming.”