Affection was no big thing with me. I’d push it away, ignore it, or mostly just pretend I didn’t need it. You know, in case no one wanted to offer me any. How sad the way my brain worked.
And then one day the man God gave me broke my shield. He never got tired of me or pushed me away. My self protection proved inadequate.
Thanks be to God, I began to trust.
I started to let the deeply affectionate way God made me finally shine through, little by little. Much to the surprise of those who knew me before, slowly I became a hugger.
At this period in time, I regret my former repression. I deeply miss human touch, to the point that I’m dreaming about it.
This seems like a sad post and, I’ll admit, I woke up sad. But here’s what I’m clinging to. Last night, I hugged. It may have been a dream but I choose to believe it was a gift from God.
Jesus hugged me last night through the arms of a friend. Maybe it was His way of saying, “Just hold on a little longer. We’ll make it through this together.”
God gave me Jason when I needed someone to push me to be the affectionate way I was created. He knows what I need and if I can’t have it while I’m awake, He’ll provide it in my sleep.
My heart is deeply aware of the lack many of us feel right now. I pray He gives you what you need.
I pray He hugs you in your dreams.